end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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