Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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