youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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