Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
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I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
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You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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