She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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