she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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