i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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