she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize