i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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