I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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