I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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