9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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