I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize