My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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