Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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