I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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