Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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