So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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