I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i think i just lost a toe
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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