K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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