i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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