it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
