I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize