why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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