he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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