Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize