toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
there's paper in my vomit.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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