I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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