it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
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