theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize