listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize