you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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