I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize