My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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