I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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