i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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