i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
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i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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