Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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