why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
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walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
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Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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