i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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