do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
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I miss vodka workout Fridays
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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