I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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