i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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