I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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