I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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