i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize