what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
