why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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