Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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