It's like a parade of train wrecks.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
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We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
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I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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