I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I FOUND THE LEGS
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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